“I was always taught to be like everyone else. Study hard, don’t argue, don’t draw attention to yourself. Finish school, get a degree, find a job, start a family. Everything was supposed to follow the right path,” says Nika (name changed).

We talked to Nika during Baltic Pride, which took place across the Baltic capitals this June. Today, she lives in Tallinn with her partner. But her story began far from Estonia, in the industrial city of Zaporizhzhia in southern Ukraine.

“I grew up in an ordinary working family. My parents worked hard and wanted me to have a stable future. I was an excellent student, always trying to meet expectations and do everything right.”

At the same time, even as a teenager, Nika understood that her feelings were different from those of many of her classmates.

“When I was in high school, a girl transferred to our class from another school. We became friends very quickly. We had so much in common and could talk for hours. Little by little, I realized that what I felt for her was more than friendship.”

But she never told her.

“At the time, it felt impossible. I was afraid of being judged, laughed at, or losing her friendship. So I stayed silent.”

A year later, the girl transferred to another school again and moved to a different part of the city. They saw each other less and less, and eventually lost contact.

“It hurt a lot. But I decided to focus on my studies. University was ahead of me, and I thought it was time to move on.”

Life, however, had other plans.

“One day I walked into a lecture hall. There were several student groups attending the same class. And there she was. The same girl. I couldn’t believe it. We had both ended up at the same university.”

This time, Nika decided not to remain silent.

“At some point, I found the courage to tell her how I felt. I still remember how nervous I was. My heart was racing. But she didn’t reject me. She didn’t laugh. She didn’t tell me that something was wrong with me. As it turned out, she felt the same way.”

Their relationship began there.

Together they graduated from university and started making plans for the future. They dreamed of moving to Kyiv, building careers and creating a life together.

“We were ready to start a new chapter. Then the full-scale war began.”

Like millions of Ukrainians, they had to rethink everything.

“There was another challenge as well. My mother accepted the fact that I had a partner, not just a ‘friend.’ That meant a lot to me. But my partner’s parents could not accept our relationship. It became very difficult for both of us.”

Eventually, the couple decided to move to Estonia.

Today, when Nika talks about life in Tallinn, there is a sense of calmness and security in her voice.

“Here, we can be ourselves. It sounds simple, but it means everything. We can hold hands in public without constantly looking over our shoulders. We can attend community events, go to Pride, and simply exist as a couple.”

For Nika, equality is not an abstract political issue. It is something deeply personal.

“People often think that LGBTIQ+ rights are about politics. For me, they are about everyday life. About not having to lie. About not having to invent stories. About being able to say who you love without fear.”

Despite everything, Ukraine remains home.

“Do we want to return? Absolutely. Our friends are there. Our memories are there. Our city is there. But I would like to return to a country where our family is protected not only by understanding from some people, but also by the law.”

Today, Nika and her partner continue to build their lives in Estonia. They work, support one another, and dream about a future where nobody has to choose between home and the freedom to be themselves.

“We are not asking for anything extraordinary. We simply want the same things as everyone else — the chance to love, to live openly, and to build our future together.”

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This publication was prepared by Fundacją HelpNow HUB within the framework of the project “From heart to heart” in partnership with Fundacja Step by Step and Fundacja Res Humanae, with financial support from the Elton John AIDS Foundation.